R-E-S-P-E-C-T (and Friendship)

ARGUMENT IN QUESTION.
P1: “Feelings” are a product of “consciousness” and are thus filtered through the “ego.” (Translation: You yourself actually determine how you feel; external events/circumstances/people do NOT determine feelings. This is most emphasized in Eastern religion/philosophy. Also, various psychological therapies use this premise.)
C: Therefore, one is ultimately in complete control over his or her feelings.

QUESTION.
So, what the fuck does this have to do with respecting anyone? And friends? Yo, hold up, I’m getting there. This is important so read it! Come on this journey with me and learn something.

ANSWER.
Technically, P1 (if everyone’s “feelings” are simply illusory or a mere product of one’s own “ego”) has some SERIOUS ethical implications. Many ethical frameworks are based on avoiding harm. If only physical harm exists (or does it? But that’s something for another day ) then one “ought not” ONLY to perpetuate physical harm. This is a huge problem!

FOR EXAMPLE.
You should totally read this if you don’t understand the ethical implications. Because after reading this, you’ll get it. In that argument, hooking up with your best friend’s boyfriend is totally permissible. Why? Because she is in control of her own feelings and he of his. You aren’t harming anyone at all, within this framework.

QUESTION.
Do I accept that? Or is that just an ethical cop out? A lame excuse to go around fucking with people’s heads because “it doesn’t really work like that anyway?”

ANSWER.
I officially do not accept that. Currently, I ascribe to deontological ethics. That’s just fancy for “duties to” stuff ethics. What I mean by that is that you have particular duties to yourself, your family, your friends, society, etc. Duties, in case you didn’t know, are like obligations. You SHOULD do x = x is a duty. In fact, it’s stronger than “should,” it’s more like “MUST.”

It only makes sense that some duties are more important than others are, at least to me currently. Your duty to your mother, for example, is more compulsory (important) than your duty to a stranger is. I don’t know enough about this pseudo-hierarchy of duties to elaborate further, but the point is that basically some duties could be more important than others are.

MY REAL POINT ABOUT RESPECT. “THE THESIS.”
Your duties to your friends are pretty compulsory. Friends are important in that hierarchy, if such a hierarchy exists!

What does respect mean? I could define my own term, but I’m lazy right now. Dictionary.com’s best-suited definition is “deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment” examples “respect for a suspect’s right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.”

A friend by definition (again stealing from dictionary.com) is “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.” Interestingly, the words “respect” and “regard” have very similar connotations; in fact, on thesaurus.com, “respect” and “regard” are synonymous as BOTH nouns and verbs, respectively!

BY VERY DEFINITION it is proper to respect to your friends. I proved it. Unless you disagree with the definitions, you simply must agree with me.

MY ARGUMENT, A SUMMATION, BITCHES.
P1: Respect is “proper acceptance or courtesy.”
P2: Friendship by definition demands respect.
C1: Therefore, one ought to give “proper acceptance or courtesy” (R-E-S-P-E-C-T) to people he or she considers “friends.”

WHAT DOES RESPECT IN FRIENDSHIP ENTAIL?
That is the real question. From my basically flawless deductive argument (yeah what unless you hate my definitions in which case go complain at dictionary.com,) it is OBVIOUS that you should respect your friends. But what does that “proper acceptance or courtesy” even mean?

I know what it doesn’t mean. I’m going to use negation to describe this phenomenon of respect in friendship, which is a fancy way of saying “I don’t know the answer but I sure as hell know what ISN’T the answer” to the title question.

Respect in friendship does NOT mean fucking with your friends emotions in any way.

I repeat for emphasis. Fucking with your friends emotions is WRONG. No matter what!

This is a demanding practice. It’s EMPATHY bitches. Empathy, you remember, being able to feel what others feel or “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.” Empathy is a conscious effort. And it can be difficult!

CONCLUSION.
Because of the principle of deontological hierarchy I have proposed (i.e. duty to mother > duty to friends > duty to strangers >…duties to others,) friends deserve the utmost respect. Respect or regard, whatever you want to call it, it’s fucking empathy.

Step one is to figure out who your friends are, what they care about, and how they think. You owe that to them as friends. I’m not writing another proof using definitions (because that shit is boring but it’s groundwork for any sort of conclusion duhhh,) but it’s pretty intuitive (obvious.)

Step two is to influence your friends positively. Act and speak in a manner that will make your friends happy, not sad. If you feel like you must do something contrary to (bad for) a friend’s emotional health, then at the very least talk to the friend in question about it before doing so!

IF THE FIRST P1 IS TRUE.
Even if your friends ARE in complete control of their feelings (which even the Eastern philosopher would say that most people are in fact not at that level of practice,) doing or saying things that will probably hurt friends emotionally will make it MORE DIFFICULT for them to control their emotions!

IF THE FIRST P1 IS FALSE.
If your friends are NOT in complete control of their feelings, doing or saying things that will probably hurt friends emotionally will make your friends sad/angry/afraid/ashamed/insertwhatevernegativeemotionhere.

IF PEOPLE TOOK THIS SIMPLE AND LOGICAL ADVICE, THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE. DEUCES.